Relationships are hard work! They are also the source of much comfort, joy and meaning in life. People are social creatures, who need to feel connected to, understood by, and important in the lives of other human beings. When we don't feel connected or understood or valued, counseling can help to either find out why or learn what to do about it.

My approach incorporates developmental psychology (recognizing innate differences in temperament and personality, understanding what's normal at different stages of development) as well as attachment theory.

We form our beliefs and opinions about relationships based on our own experience, starting with our primary relationships (with parents or other caregivers) and other members of the family we grew up in.

Depending on whether we believe we had a happy or unhappy childhood, we may decide to replicate that experience in our adult relationships, or reject it. Either way, we're also influenced by early life attachments and experiences we may not remember or understand, which can cause us to react in ways that leads to distress or conflict.

Conflict is an inevitable part of all relationships, yet most people are uncomfortable dealing with it, or simply don't know how to do so effectively. I've had experience in conflict resolution, communication skills training, and anger management training.

In doing couples counseling, I am influenced by the work of John Gottman and the Gottman Institute, as well as Sue Johnson's Emotionally-focused Therapy. While I don't do family therapy, or see children or teens, I have taught parenting classes, and also have experience working with divorcing or divorced parents using a collaborative approach.