rebecca stanwyck
WELCOME COUNSELING CONSULTING ARTICLES ABOUT ME LOCATION & FEES  


Phone 510.881.2540



Castro Valley office
and mailing address:

21700 Redwood Rd, #B
Castro Valley, CA 94546

Pleasanton office:
5820 Stoneridge Mall Rd, #219
Pleasanton, CA 94588

CA License #LCS12569

 

Articles - Marriage, Family and Relationships

Relationships are hard work! They are also the source of much comfort, joy and meaning in life. People are social creatures, who need to feel connected to, understood by, and important in the lives of other human beings. When we don't feel connected or understood or valued, counseling can help to either find out why or learn what to do about it.

My approach incorporates developmental psychology (recognizing innate differences in temperament and personality, understanding what's normal at different stages of development) as well as attachment theory.

We form our beliefs and opinions about relationships based on our own experience, starting with our primary relationships (with parents or other caregivers) and other members of the family we grew up in.

Depending on whether we believe we had a happy or unhappy childhood, we may decide to replicate that experience in our adult relationships, or reject it. Either way, we're also influenced by early life attachments and experiences we may not remember or understand, which can cause us to react in ways that leads to distress or conflict.

Conflict is an inevitable part of all relationships, yet most people are uncomfortable dealing with it, or simply don't know how to do so effectively. I've had experience in conflict resolution, communication skills training, and anger management training.

In doing couples counseling, I am influenced by the work of John Gottman and the Gottman Institute, as well as Sue Johnson's Emotionally-focused Therapy. While I don't do family therapy, or see children or teens, I have taught parenting classes, and also have experience working with divorcing or divorced parents using a collaborative approach.

Parenting to Break the Cycle

Divorce and Coparenting

Surviving Infidelity

Communication for Couples

Finding and Keeping Love

Elements of a Healthy Relationship

Unhealthy Relationships

Back-to-School: Avoid Morning Chaos

 

Links and resources for marriage, family and relationships

A good place to start for information on positive, effective parenting is:  www.positivediscipline.com

I often recommend to couples John Gottman's book, The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work. Read about it or check out his tips for a happy marriage at:  www.gottman.com/marriage/self_help

National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233 or  http://www.ndvh.org/

National Stepfamily Resource Center:  http://www.stepfamilies.info/index.php 

For information on the collaborative approach to divorce:  www.collaborativepracticeeastbay.com

© 2005 – 2011, Rebecca A. Stanwyck, LCSW. All rights reserved